Dare your Fear. Go blank. Just do it.

A regular Monday morning all set to begin with proper plans in place, perfect for me, I thought! I woke up to the music of the rain and a feeble sound of the chirping of the birds was soothing. All seemed fine and positive until I opened the door. It was not a pleasant surprise but a dead big fat rat lying on my doormat. The fellow surely couldn't not escape the cat's attack the previous night. The immediate reaction, well no guesses. I closed the door, somehow controlled and nursed the after effect of spewing. Catching a rat using rat trap, I have done yet handling a dead rat was always a no. Well, I thought quick, now what?

Call it an imaginary placard flashing on the mind, I recalled the specific morning read about daring your fear with absolute blankness, no thinking and just doing what best I could. Perhaps I was made to read it by some divine intervention. I opened the door counting my breath slowly and also holding my breath. Then dragged the mat along the corridor using a small twig, all that I could find then, to the main entrance of my floor. That's it, came home for another round of heaving and then thought the garbage collection men might help me discard it from my second floor. Well I received not much help from them and my neighbor next street seemed least interested to lend me even a ear. No complaints. I knew I had to get it cleared anyhow myself.

With all might, somehow transferred it in a huge paper bag, wearing disposable gloves ( they always come handy) and took it downstairs. Just in time when the garbage vehicle made its second round. I gave it off, couldn't smile in gratitude for obvious reasons. Thank God, the toughest task was over!

The sanitizing, cleaning, cleansing was a long tiring process that disturbed all my scheduled morning plans. Well for me cleanliness is Godliness indeed, just that I had to do it twice today. After an hour, I finally settled down, listening to music alongside the lemon aroma therapy for quite sometime to get back to normal.

I had no choice but to challenge my fear, simply go blank and do it with focus on just doing it. Thanks to the Divine and the book that I chose to pick up and read as part of my happy morning ritual. Trust me, the feeling of peace and achievement after winning over such kind of fear cannot be expressed in words.

Can Love Be a Reason or Mistake? - Part 2

She burst into tears. Samarth invited her to stay at his place till the water situation was brought into control.  She literally swam through the water to reach his place. Samarth was waiting for her at the doorstep. There was no power in the building. She collapsed in his arms.  Samarth caressed her forehead and puller her into his arms, hugging her tightly. She never felt safer. She had a quick shower and put on Samarth’s shirt and the duo had dinner under candle light. They sat on the couch close to each other reliving their college days. Shreya couldn’t stop looking at Samarth’s eyes. In spite of the darkness, his eyes comforted her. The events of that day were haunting her with even though she knew she was safe. Her fingers were trembling while she held the cup of coffee, her favorite Cappuccino flavor that he offered. Samarth could feel her fear which was quite obvious from her expressions even though she was trying hard to look normal.

Samarth sat beside her and as he was covering her with a shawl, he hugged her and whispered in her ear, ‘Don’t worry, you are fine. I am there with you right. You are my brave Shreya.’ Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she let go the shawl and cried embracing him. She had no clue what was happening but then she wished to be with him. While he told her to calm and he wiped her tears, his fingers caressed her cheeks. His kissed her forehead and she was speechless. ‘Can I kiss you, Shreya’, he asked. Time stilled that moment and all she wanted was love. She leaned in to kiss him.  And within no time, they were exploring each other’s bodies. It was the first time she felt like a passionate lover as in the novels she read, craving for physical pleasure. Samarth was warm and wanted to shower his feelings of concern for her. The severity of the rain slowed down and the sound of the winds calmed down by mid night. That night, Shreya slept peacefully. When she woke up next morning, she saw Samarth lying next to her. She didn’t know how to react and left without informing him. Facing Samarth at work became difficult after that. Though she didn’t feel guilty about the fact that they made love, there was something that she couldn’t understand about the relationship.

The week at office was uneasy for her. She was finding a name for her relationship with Samarth. She was a small town girl, ambitious and was confused about what happened. Days passed and Samarth’s boss, who was also his friend, was moving out of town. Samarth had discretely told Shreya few weeks before the night episode, he got the news that she needs to look for a job as the company was not performing so well in the last few months. But Shreya loved the comfort zone she was in and the pay was more than sufficient to pay off her rent. After that night, Samarth had called up many a times as if nothing really happened. She was afraid to ask him fearing something which was unable to understand. He had of course asked if she was fine and she had said with a positive answer, she was. She loved listening to Samarth every day despite the emotional upheavals and believed that everything would work out fine. She had fallen for Samarth.

By the end of the month, Samarth went on long leave.  Shreya’s heart was literally jumping with joy when he came back. But Samarth didn’t look his usual best. He told Shreya that he had a girlfriend who was a Bengali, but his parents didn’t want him to marry her as they wanted him to marry a girl from their caste and from Lucknow.  That’s when it struck Shreya. There was another woman in Samarth’s life, with whom she wanted to spend the rest of his life with. She was shocked. She had no idea how to cheer him up and handle her own emotions at the same time. She choked. She didn’t ask him a single question. Instead, she got him a glass of water and gave him a comforting hug. He smiled. When she returned to her seat, her heart was pounding. What was happening to her? She confessed to Samarth that there was more to the relationship and that she had fallen for him.

But the moment she confessed her feelings for her, he began acting strange. She started losing focus at work so much so that when Samarth quit as hinted, she put in her papers without another job in hand. Samarth had begun maintaining a distance from her. When the frequency of calls had come down drastically, she began stalking him online. Though Samarth lived in the same city, he was barely in touch with her.

She willed herself to not check her phone to see if he had replied. It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking his 'last seen at' status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet she couldn't stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous.

And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was his message.

But when she opened it and read it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn't know if he was joking or not. What was this?

 ‘It was a mistake. Look I am sorry. You trust me right?  I am getting engaged next week and its time you accepted the truth. I tried helping you that night. There’s nothing more to it. My parents and I want you to be there for the engagement function. Please come Shreya. Thanks, Samarth’.

She considered him her best friend, mentor and a loving person. He understood her much better than her; and she had always respected his feelings and valued his words. But when she wanted to hear those magical words from him, all she received was ‘a mistake’.

The entire phase in her life seeking his love and care was gone- just like that. What was she to do now?

No Stardom Required.

Tring! Tring! The newspaper is coasted in. Gautam gently gazed at the main door and then resumed sipping his cup of tea. Quite absorbed in the rhythm and tune of the sarod. He has not mastered in music ever but he has a very sharp ear when it comes to ragas. The music stopped but then Gautam seemed deeply involved that the sudden silence made no ripples in his absorbed posture. 

Finally, the silence broke with the sound of the telephone. No options but to get up and attend the call. He opened his eyes as if enlightened by a discourse, got up the chair and advanced to pick the call. Could have been a little fast, the phone stopped ringing, in vain probably. The day has begun hereon. 

He moves on. Changes the music to something more ‘rocking’. Lifts the newspaper and scans through it. Then finally gets glued to the stock market details. Huh! He raises his brow and then the very next moment, takes the remote kept at the tea poy. A random browse through the channels and finally settled for NDTV. The Breaking News Flashed-Satyam Scam exposed! So that’s going to be the next string for news channels to harp on. This is indeed a slight relief from the indecisive melodrama between Indo-Pak, hammering upon each other in the terrorist tug-of-war. 

Gautam scurried with the morning chores and left for his office. As usual he had managed to keep an apple to be munched when stuck in the traffic. Breakfast during breaks from driving! Persistent nagging over the phone did have some effect. From no time for breakfast, it was ‘breakfast in the car’. Gratitude completely goes to his mom of course.

After jostling in the traffic for an hour, he made it sharp on time. He waved a morning smile to all around and entered his cabin. He believes that a genuine smile would do good to onself and others. Perhaps the proportion varies. Well, he boasts of his charismatic smile wherever he goes. That’s his USP, they say. Ask him the secret, he would simply smile and say ‘smile naturally’. 

Takes his seat, keeps the wallet, his i-Pod and his mobile on the desk. Starts his lappy and begins with a short prayer. Gautam opens his mailbox. Well, well, he is going to have a pretty hectic day. With two client meets and a presentation to wind up for the evening. Alongside he has to call up the clients and vendors for price negotiations and follow upon agreed quotations. Well, it is all a breeze!

Recession and layoffs had actually affected the business by and large. The Board of Directors had tightened the policies and as such layoff was not operational. Amidst all fiasco, Gautam seems unaffected or rather deliberately unaware. He spreads calm and positive strokes all the time. Above all is his quick-witted jovial nature. Not even the security man is spared. Despite the managerial post that he beholds, his flexibility is incredible. He can dine with the elite and also stroll along with a colleague for a cup of tea at a kirana store. He would speak unpretentiously and that made him popular and liked.

These clients were a bit late. Punctuality remains confined to a bold mention in the code of disciplines in business. But then, some clients have a freedom to outdo the norms. Specifically, those contributing a great deal in the company’s turnover and profit. Gautam would be given such clients because he truly had a thick skin to handle them. Had it be any other person, the business would have suffered huge losses without the backup from such clients.

His calm nature and intelligent business propositions would leave no room for the clients but to agree to the company’s pricing quotation, at times after a bit of negotiations. He did manage to spare some time to hog some heavy luncheon. Well, he does believe in healthy nourishment to the body and mind. Even though a little lazy about breakfast.

The scheduled presentation was postponed for the next day. Gautam was much more than grateful to have spared him for the day. There were chances for a heavy downpour so he thought leaving early would save him from getting sopped. He was lucky just half way. Had not the traffic been so horrendous that he could by no way beat the rain.

Opened the main door and then. As expected, the sneezing was well beyond a few counts. Even a slight drizzle would have wonderful and immediate effect upon him. He could not make it fast from his car-poach to his apartment. He dried his hair and changed to dry clothes. The sneeze subsided. The mobile rings. He was like, what a timing mom! He could never figure out the connection between his sneeze and his mother’s instant call. He would always ask her that how on earth would she know? He would get a sharp statement-coz am your mom son! That entertains no more doubts indeed.

As the night strolls in, Gautam had the other side to life. This one was different from his marketing guy persona. Not that all knew of this, except for a few. He had this separate room in his house which was not welcome to all. He was an artist in shadows. Nourishing the creative zeal in him was however a passion since some years. The thought of making this shadowed muse the mainstream would not bring in much revenue. So earn for a smart living and live the passion alongside. He has of course a stream of ardent readers who like his works – all under a pen name of course. Sounds very Bollywood script like though. Well, there’s no doubt from where these ‘original scripts’ emerge.Real life incidents turn reel life hits. Now that some directors are modest enough to accept that they are ‘inspired ’. Gautam feels blessed.

What is it that makes his articles, so very interesting? Simple, he writes features that would leave no option for readers but to smile. Yes, when he writes, he has just one goal in mind-‘Smile’. So when the goal is clear, he has just to find alternatives to reach it. Since, his innate nature is embellished in happiness so it just comes natural. The royalty that he earns of the sale goes to the charitable trust. So where marketing seems to be the mainstream to one’s earnings, there is always a secretive side of satiating the creativity and humanity with utmost humility. No stardom required.

Memories of 'Rock' Star Friendship

It was the first time she told him ‘Hi’,

Walking back home from school,
A casual talk about studies and some smiles exchanged
She was gentle, intelligent yet self-effacing
He was bold, smart yet very straight-forward.

Months passed and friendship blossomed
Little did they realize that they had turned good friends.
Reading books and exchanging few become a routine
Respect and care for each other would always be high.

If ever tears fell because of a failure mark
He would pat her and cheer her up for sure.
Where society had its version for his arrogance,
She would always be on his side for his unassuming nature.
He loved being a Rock star at school and worked hard to get one.

He would come to her home seeking a little help,
A day before submitting any project.
He always knew she would help him unconditionally.
He would score higher than her but she would smile.
Her birthday party would have been meaningless without his presence.
His wishes and presence during festivals also elated their friendship.

Then came the era of crushes and crisis
His list of musings and his craziness would never surprise her.
She knew his fickle heart but did not want to see him hurt
But friendship calls for support than shun.
She had her cherubic likes and he would listen too
Crushes remain as long as you hold your palm open.
They are only but momentary fantasies subject to changes.

She realized that a little too late when the damage was done
He really cared for her and somewhere felt she used him.
He somewhere felt that other girls mattered more to her than his friendship
It was those times when telephones were priceless and kept locked.
Calling and talking was perhaps one of the most frightful desires.

The wonder years of school were about to come to a close
Meetings and talks became limited because of exams
She would wait after each exam to hear from him.
Her presence was most of the time unnoticed.
But then she could feel the wall of silence building high.

The Farewell at school witnessed the entire group
No one ever knew what destiny holds for them.
Celebrations were over as she saw him cheerful with the famous girls
He never spoke a word to her and she felt a pain within.

10 years of friendship mattered more than stupid crushes.

The aspiring and ambitious goals of every one separated happy good friends
Who loved to share their world of books, poems, dreams and goals with each other.
She was given no chance to speak and destiny took her to a far away land.

At times speaking out would give a better solution
Years passed by but every time she spoke of her school life
Her eyes would sparkle with glow talking about her friend.
She prays unconditionally that wherever on Earth he is,
God showers Love, Fame, Success and the Dreams desired by him.

Celebrating Life !

Time flies so swiftly. Another year in my life has gone by. A quick anamnesis should be an ideal farewell as I welcome another year with a smile.

When you are left alone in the battlefield one fine morning where even your shadow disappears and the support forces offer prayers for your victory and well-being, it was the same for me. A hope that was to weave new dreams was shattered and the companionship was being distanced for a better cause. A battle where there was no enemy but a rugged road and uncertain destination. I had no choice but to pick up that was available. The journey was not a smooth one but then as I have completed 365 days, I definitely understand the meaning of life better and emerge a wiser human.

Celebrate Life

1.       At times when we truly put our head and heart into achieving a goal, destiny may change things against our will, right when we at our zenith of accomplishing that dream. It takes some time foe us to realize that it was something meant for the good, or a blessing in disguise that we thought was unjust and wrong.

2.       Experience and knowledge is always appreciated as long as you obey those who have the power and wish to say the last word in anything. Appreciate that your talent is treasured but we want it that way. Two ways to survive – be a good listener that an orator. You save your energy and gain appraisal.

3.       Good support system is always a blessing. Family, no matter how far they are, you can always feel their warmth and love. You do miss seeing them often due to commitments in life, but their prayers always help you in life.

4.       Friends add a magic. Life is like a flowing river and friends are like the streams that join you while you meander through different ridges and terrains. Some of them stay close and help you cross the obstacles on your journey of life easily. Some are busy yet they remember to wish you once a while for a smile.

5.       At times life gives magical surprises. You perchance get acquainted with like-minded souls who seem so much familiar in faith and deeds. The little surprises and the happy notes that we share with for them is truly genuine and unconditional. It is perhaps when God wishes to pass a message, he says it through messengers. You meet many friends often but you treasure good friends lifelong.

6.       Angel friends especially who cross a couple of decades are your soul. They will be there no matter what. Even when technology and smiley rules, it is always nice to hear the voice of your good friends and this cannot be replaced by any innovation or social media. Make a call and they would be there. Not much thought required and no excuses too.

7.       People who can make others happy feel relaxed and content. You should try it more often and it can be anything simple too. Anything from your heart will be appreciated and will win many smiles. After all people want a little bit of care and love that is all. Rest is the karma of life that makes us all running behind money and fame.

8.       You will be so much encircled by the social issues around you. It is only when you look at the world around and the atrocities happening everywhere in the name of humanity, that you will start counting on your most prized possession- “Freedom”.

9.       Every human is gifted with intelligence and you should use it for good deeds and well-being of the society, promote unity in thought, and respect each other’s religion for the righteous actions.

10.   Love is a universal power. It is boundless and can help you win a battle without a fight. All that is required is patience, empathy and the human connect. Aggression is needed only when things fall apart from the path of peace and love.

These are the major things I observed and am glad I have lot of reasons to smile, a lot many things to accomplish, a family that believes in happiness and love, a treasure of good special friends to cherish in this life. God has His ways to connect so many people, near or far. Technology helps them connected today every second. Celebrating life for every episode that comes by with a smile!

Sailing Rainbow!

 When life opens up new opportunities,

Make the best with an extra mile

When life greets you with happiness,

Live it up with a charming smile

When life throws a deadly storm,

Dare it with a positive stride

When life shows you a dark path

Believe there is light end of the ride

When life is full of rainbow colors

Sail and love yourself in all colors